When you believe someone has done something “to” you there is a tendency to hold that memory and ruminate on it. It’s like a cow with multiple stomachs. We might chew on it and swallow it only to continue to hold it and subtly chew on it, possibly forever. It tends to create gas though, just like the cow does. Cows are the largest contributors to methane. When we hold onto something someone has done to us we also create negative fumes and energy within. Sometimes we let it out and expand the negativity.
Remember the story of the 2 monks who ran into the rich, arrogant woman who demanded one of them help her cross the muddy stream. One monk helped her and she didn’t even say thank you. Later the 2 monks rested and the one asked, “Why did you help her. She was so rude?” The other responded, “I put her down a long time ago. You are still carrying her.”
First, we are seeing it as something being done to us when reality is playing out ‘for’ us in all instances. Secondly, we tend to live in a permanent state of judging everything. We forget to accept everything and we say this is good and that is bad when everything is perfectly unfolding for our evolution. Thirdly, we tend to hold onto things long after they are relevant and prolong our suffering.
Here’s the 5 minute process to forgive:
- How do I see that It happened for me, not to me. What possibility is opening up for me because of this?
- Am I reacting instead of responding? The other person might be suffering and in pain and is there enough compassion in me to respond to it.
- Triggers allow us to see what is being triggered inside of us. The other person has triggered us and that allows us to resolve and become aware of unconscious patterns and emotions within us. They have been sent to us and a situation has been created so we can become conscious and resolved. It is never about the other person. Be grateful they allowed our expansion.