Mindfulness of relationship

When you are in a relationship, you are engaging in a situation that is designed to trigger what is hidden and unresolved within you. Within is always the first place to look when you feel triggered by the relationship. It is normal for your judgement and blame to be focused upon the other, but the first place to look is inside and feel what is there.

Most people engage in relationships from a place of need. It is natural to want to be loved, respected, wanted and cherished and a healthy relationship should provide some of this. But when you hold an expectation that your need should be met by another it will generally lead to disappointment and dissatisfaction. Coming from a place of need generally means the starting point is internal unworthiness, lack or incompletion and those can only be integrated and dealt with internally. Another person can never give you worth or completion. This is your work.

You probably hold an ideal, a fantasy and a preconception of what the ideal relationship should look like and how the other person should act. This fantasy comes from society, movies, books and how you dream your life to be – your story. But reality and fantasy seldom match up and this creates never to be met expectations and constant disappointment. See where your expectations are unrealistic or realistic.

There are times when relationships do not serve your evolution and expansion. There are times when you may be in a relationship that had ended years ago but you remain because of fear, obligation or co-dependency. See where fear is locking you into something that no longer serves you and summon the courage to act in your highest interest.

Allow yourself and the other to be authentic. Talk about what is important to you with the other and find ways to support your individual expansion. Find common points of connection. Walk together but not with dependency, casting a shadow.