When we are excluded, criticized, demeaned, abused, fired from a job or rejected, we feel fear, sadness, anger, guilt, shame & self-judgment. We don’t want to feel it. We generally have 2 responses. 1) We push those feelings away and stuff them, or 2) we distract ourselves from them, grasping for relief by over-eating, drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, social media, and wide variety of unhealthy options. Our options habitually have been to push away or grasp, both of which create resistance. Resistance creates suffering. This resistance, our stuffing and avoiding, creates stress, a dissonant vibrational impression within us. When these accumulate we feel ‘I am less than and separate’. We create non-alignment with who we really are, and this creates dissonance. Our non-alignment and dissonance create a bad feeling place.
We tend to have very little control over the bad feeling’s initial arising. Resisting and pushing against the initial feeling is what is creating the dissonant impression to become locked in and not move out. It is the resistance and stuck, dense, emotional impressions that are creating non-alignment with who we are. Our non-alignment is creating the bad feeling. We generally think it is the thing that just triggered the response that is responsible. But, no, it is our non-alignment caused by our emotional unresolved content. When we are in alignment with who we are, we cannot feel bad.
In resistance and aversion fear arises and we create a story, generally that our bad feeling is being caused from an outside source. This justifies feeling bad. The story creates belief and solidifies resistance and dissonance. If asked, most of us would say we do not live in victim-hood. But every time we blame something outside of us for a bad feeling, we are being a victim. We are, in effect, saying that my bad feeling is the result of that other person, that other event, and I am its victim.
When we believe something outside of us is responsible for how we feel we are giving away our power and responsibility, our authority. We are victims because we subscribe to an external authority. Life is only ever triggering what is unresolved and incomplete in us. It is our energetic blockages of our unresolved emotional pain, our unresolved past, and our belief that we are the victim that are causing our bad feeling place.
The dissonance and density we have created through our response makes us feels ‘I am less than’. Pinning all of our response on an outside cause and creating a justifiable story are both false. Both add momentum to our bad feeling and solidify dissonance.
The vibrational impression we have created within ourselves has density & dissonance. Feeling is the emotional response to the alignment of the vibration. When we are non-aligned with our true nature, Divinity, that non-alignment creates a dissonant vibration, which creates a bad feeling.
So how do we get out of the bad feeling place that we have created?
Realize that these bad feelings are a blessing. Thinking they are bad or unacceptable just adds to resistance. We are offering ourselves the opportunity to see and experience life authentically, without defences or screens keeping us from our own true nature. We should stop, look, feel and accept.
Stop: Becoming aware as soon as possible of the initial arising and seeing the truth of the experience. The truth is that it is we who are causing the bad feeling within ourselves through our reaction, resistance, and non-alignment.
Look: Bring real insight to the situation: What’s the real cause? Non-alignment with our Divinity and vibrational density. Did we create a story that the cause is from outside our self, what someone else has done? The story arises from fear and is not required. This Bad Feeling Place is a signal that we are in resistance to feeling our real emotional content. What is the reason this is happening? To wake us up and bring us back into alignment. Everything that is happening in our life is expansion, created for us to experience more happiness. Resistance slows this realization.
When we are triggered by something outside of us it is a sign that the thing being triggered is inside of us. It would literally be impossible to feel triggered if we had no emotional density within us. The blessing of being triggered and what the bad feeling is pointing to is what needs our attention, it is now active, and saying look at me, feel me.
Feel: What is the emotion we are feeling? What is the resistance we are creating? What was triggered in us? Feel what we are pushing against or grasping at. Feel how we are trying to control, how we are judging and justifying. Do we want to distract ourselves from feeling it? Most importantly, feel the emotion, and accept it is inside of us. That which is unexpressed and unfelt within must be felt in order for the bad feelings to evaporate. Awareness disempowers what was hidden.
Allow: Feel the emotion. Feel all aspects of it and let it be energy in motion. Let it move through. Allow our mind and body to be at ease; look at the sky, meditate, walk in nature, or take a bath. Ease is the opposite of resistance. Allow ourselves to surrender, knowing we are moving into more. Trying to control the situation or pushing it away causes more resistance. Judging creates separation. If we find ease and alignment, that, in itself, is a big part of the solution. Allowing the energy of the emotion to move through us is an important part of removing the density we have created through resistance. When we are back in alignment and in non-resistance, the bad feeling will be gone.