Our mind becomes anxious when we live in the outlook of self-grasping and self-cherishing. This outlook is always about ‘me’ and ‘mine’. It arises from an experience of separateness. “I” dominates. We see differences everywhere. Instead of oneness, we see high and low, me and you, better and worse. In this misperception, the ego feels wounded, worthless and insufficient or it feels superior and better than. Either way, carrying a sense of inferiority or superiority, we live in separation and our mind is living in a misperception of reality. We live in judgment. This misperception causes anxiety in our mind.
When we live in a false reality, the mind is always feeling ungrounded and searches for stability. That stability usually takes the form of desires with attachment, distractions and an outward focus. We seek relief in the new relationship, the job, the money, the adoration, the drug, the sex or the circumstance. We believe they will end the anxiety. It will fix us or fix them, making us happy. It will give relief from the anxiety we feel from our ungroundedness, our separation. We soon discover that nothing outside of us gives lasting relief from our anxiety because it arises from our misperception, our self-grasping, our sense of separateness.
The only true relief comes from ending our delusion. Ending our delusion begins with realize nothing outside of us will bring permanent relief. It’s only an internal shift in perception that brings relief. That shift begins with equalizing self and other. The shift advances when we serve other. The shift reaches fulfillment when we realize other is Self. When we have no delusion, external circumstances have no power to affect us.